Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
