I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize