I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
