____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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