HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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