Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
