Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
