I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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