Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
