I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
