If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
FUCK WHALES
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dude. I can hear the air.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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