I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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