Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
