Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
