i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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