She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
