Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize