She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
worst night to have a conscience
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
