No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
