i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
