i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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