I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
