We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate all girls vehemently.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
