oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
