Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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