Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
