I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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