I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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