But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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