I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
