you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
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apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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