So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
