Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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