Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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