Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
