you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
