Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Damn victory sex feels great
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
