i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
