we have pet lesbian snakes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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