i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
