Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
