If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
