Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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