I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.