Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
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Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.