I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere