Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst