Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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