the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I look better un-naked...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.