i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
