My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
