what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
