We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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