Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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