YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
