He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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