I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
