Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
