She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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