end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I faked an abortion last night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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