hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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