I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
