watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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