honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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