I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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